I'm ready to start my thesis and not to have thirteen other assignments to think about. Unfortunately, this will never be. It will get better though because fall quarter will be the last quarter I will have to take two classes. In the winter and spring, I will have three thesis hours and one class.
This is all considering I DO write a thesis. Dr. Martin made it sound really manageable the other day when we talked about it. I think the problem is I go up and down so much with how I feel about my writing ability that sometimes I'm like, "Yea! I can do that!" and other times I feel really discouraged.
I had a phone interview for Camp Grant Walker for the dramatic arts director position, but I haven't heard back yet. This will be a bit of a factor in whether I write or not. It might not make that much of a difference though because if I don't write, I will need to be reading for the comp exams this summer anyway. Working there would be nice, though, because it's good pay for way less work than I'd be doing at Casa.
Right now, I'm working on a short response on Slaughterhouse-Five (that was for you, Courtney), an analysis of The House of Seven Gables, a fifteen pager that I'm actually pretty into about Poe's "Annabel Lee" in All the King's Men, and I need to be thinking of an idea for my Gothic paper. I guess I'll just try to write about Poe's poetry since I'm researching it already for the other paper. Oh, and I need to be reading Haunting of Hill House and Blood Meridian.
Whew.
On the bright, yet slightly overwhelming, side, I feel like my mind is expanding with how to write better. Dr. Martin's helping me a bit with this. After I explained my entire argument the other day to him, he said, "Sounds good. Now you just need to figure out WHY that is." I know that this is what makes the paper a good one. But I always seem to forget to take it to that next level.
Connecting the idea of the paper to why it matters for life is also what makes English relevant in the world, I think, which is neat to figure out because I've been trying to find a way to explain to Dane why liberal arts is just as important as business. I know the two departments and types of people think differently, but which is "better"? I don't think one's better than the other, but both are very necessary. However, which side of life you want to help develop depends on which kind of person you are. I do think it's necessary to be exposed to "the other side," though. Too many business people think liberal arts is unnecessary. In fact, too many people in general must think liberal arts in unnecessary. Have you compared GTM to the CAB lately? I think the fact that we're fine with that, though, just points to a particular difference between these two worlds. We can plant a garden in the middle, deteriorating space of our building and we don't need anything fancier than that. Speaking of that middle space in GTM, I wonder if that building was picked for liberal arts because of its shape and space to sit outside or if it was just random.
I'm really happy I decided to study English before it was too late and ended up missing out. I'm sure you know, but I was going to go with Biology because being a doctor would probably make the most money, and I did enjoy anatomy in high school. So I took ALL the maths and biologies to prepare for that, but then my senior year, when I wanted to go to Evangel University and was visiting it, I accidentally met with an English professor instead of a biology one and he confirmed my love for it and told me what teaching was like and some of what he did at Evangel. Before this, I would sit in my English class fascinated with the history that Mrs. Key poured into every lesson. I would think, "I wish my job could be to sit in this classroom and learn this stuff all day," but I never actually put any thought into the idea of actually studying English because I didn't have a clue of what I could do with it. You guys probably already knew that story, but for some reason, I'm in that "let me reminisce about my life" mood.
Another reason I'm glad I found this side of myself is because I used to write song lyrics all the time, but I never gave any thought to poetry because I can't remember ever connecting with it until my junior year. But I'd write songs lyrics... ha. I definitely had that connection with music, and still do. But college, liberal arts studies especially, has helped me to develop those sentiments in me that I didn't really understand or value before. So now I have discovered poetry, and it's my favorite, of course. That's why I want to write a thesis. I want to dig into something so much that I get everything out. I was thinking of comparing Gioia to Dickinson in several different ways. I like Gioia quite a bit more than Dickinson, but I do still like her a lot and would enjoy writing about her. It's Gioia's spiritual element that captures me, I think. He likens the afterlife to so many different things, like nature, which Dickinson does too, and he's always exploring some aspect of religion, spirituality, life, death, or something relating to the soul. And he articulates the things that might be in my head in a way that I can't. I think this is the quality that causes a connection to form.
Tonight I'm going to Luke's senior recital by myself. I think this is the first time I'll go to the theatre alone. Should be good though. I need to go don my Sunday best in a minute. Jordan, I'm really sad that you couldn't come. I hope your car gets fixed soon.
Leigh's coming tomorrow!! And we're going to put some color in my hair. I need to get up early to get some writing done first, though. I guess that means I need to have a somewhat early night tonight.
And Sunday, a few girls are going to Lincoln Parish Park to swim and lay out. I'm planning to bring a book and wear the new swim suit I got today and read for the afternoon. I'm pretty excited. Also, after church, Dane and I are going to have a picnic! I'm going to make the famous pizza loaf for that, Jordan!
I'll leave you with a poem next time because I need to hurry and go now.
:)
